The degradation of addiction is appalling and adds to the shame we already feel. The need to get our drug or drink is so strong that we will debase ourselves to get it. We will say or do anything it takes to get rid of the pain.
This is a sad picture of a basically decent human being who will lie and steal to get the drug. If we are in the grips of withdrawal, the need to get the drink or drug escalates making us capable of almost anything.
Pain medication is my drug of choice. I am an alcoholic; however God has seen fit to take the need for a drink away. I am in need of a hip replacement and at the moment I do not have health insurance. The pain is pretty bad everyday. A few years ago my addiction talked me into asking my doctor for pain medication for my hip. I took the amount I was supposed to take for exactly one day and then off I went. Naturally I ran out before I should have. The prescription was on going for quite a while. Eventually the day came when I had no medication left, I was going through withdrawal and I was a mess. Neither the doctor nor my husband wanted me to have any more pills, but I couldn’t deal with the withdrawal so we had a three-way conversation where I literally begged both of them to let me have the pills. I am an addict and I am good at what I do-I got more pills. I am off them now and I know they are never an option for me, however I degraded myself before my husband and he and I were both embarrassed.
I think most addicts have stories about what they did to get the drink or the drug. This disease of addiction is horrendous in its pursuit of us. Addiction can turn us into people we don’t know and don’t like. It leads to more shame which can ultimately lead right back to addiction. It is a vicious circle that can go on for years if we don’t reach out for help and make ourselves willing to do anything to stay sober.