How many times have we heard a child say “it’s not fair”? Then we go on to say how sometimes life isn’t fair and it is just something we have to learn to live and we smile at them sure in our knowledge that we are a good parent. The truth is as alcoholics we drink because we, like children think that life is not fair. It is not fair that we can’t find the money to pay the rent but other people can add on to their enormous house just because they can. It is springtime where I live and all the stores have the new spring clothes out. I am a clothes horse and it is not fair that I can’t go out and buy new outfits. It is not fair that people in my life can’t see how much I do for them and only complain about what I don’t do..
It is not fair leads to I am so angry. We are told in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that we do not have the luxury of being angry as it can lead to taking a drink. What do we do with the anger then? We are told to accept what we cannot change-easier said than done.
I call my Higher Power God and I do pray and it does help. I also make a gratitude list. I list all of the things that I have and that bless me every day. Another thing I do is sit down and just write about everything that I am angry about. Spelling and penmanship are not important. I try to remember that the person with the enormous house putting on the new addition has problems as well. What about those people that do not appreciate all I do? I just got a call from my daughter and she found a retro 1950’s metal table that I have wanted forever. It will look so cute in my kitchen. No one goes through life untouched by hard things or even things that are not fair. My mother always said that nothing lasts forever and that includes feelings of anger. Slowly the knot in my stomach goes away until the next time something isn’t fair.