Happy Father’s Day to all my readers who are dads. Sadly, my father is no longer alive. It started me thinking about reasons to drink. Alcoholics and addicts never learned how to do certain emotions. We run from sadness and it certainly gives us a reason not that we need one. During times of sadness I can remember thinking I don’t know what to do with how I feel. I have been told to just feel what I am feeling and walk through it until it begins to pass.
My father was an alcoholic and he used his alcoholism to get through some very painful parts of his life and I assume that is where I learned how to hide behind a drink. He quit drinking many years before he died. Unfortunately he didn’t lead a happy life of sobriety. All the anger and sadness that gave him a reason to drink was still there and he didn’t know what to do with what he was feeling. He spent much of his day in a nasty frame of mind. I have been fortunate to have had many mentors to guide me and I have always believed in having a personal relationship with God who I can turn to when life is hard or even when life is good. Alcoholics Anonymous has also helped me greatly in my quest to find out what drives me.
Life isn’t black or white and alcoholism isn’t the only thing my father gave me. He gave me an appreciation for the beauty in nature and oddly enough he taught me right from wrong even though he was an alcoholic for all of my childhood and into early adulthood. I guess he also taught me that living an unhappy life isn’t what I want and so I strive in sobriety to learn how to live with sadness and other emotions that used to cause me to drink and do drugs.
If your father is alive call him. If he isn’t alive reflect on the good things he gave you. Happy Father’s Day!